3/08/2010
TOP TEN WAYS TO MAKE A JUDGE MAD (or think you are clinically insane)
10. Use big words when you talk when you really don’t know the meaning of the words
If you don’t understand a word, please don’t try to impress the judge with your lack of knowledge of the English vocabulary. Just be yourself and answer the questions to the best of your ability. If you don’t understand a question, by all means, ask the questioner to repeat it until you understand what is being asked. Butchering the English language does nothing for your credibility. After all, it’s a “plea bargain” not a “flea bargain”. You may need a “restraining order” not a “training order”. And documents are notarized by a “notary republic” not a “notary republican”.
9. Leave your proof at home
If you have documentation or witnesses that are advantageous to your argument or case, by all means make sure you bring them to court. Nothing is more irritating for your attorney and for a judge but to hear over and over again “I can prove it! I’ve got the papers / pictures / recordings / witnesses, but I left them at home!”
8. Talking loudly while someone else is testifying
Keep your mouth shut during the testimony of other witnesses. Nothing is more distracting for your attorney and the court if you continually whisper in a loud stage whisper to your attorney that the person who is testifying is “nothing but a dang liar!” Let your attorney concentrate on what is happening and don’t distract the judge from the testimony by your never ending incredulous protestations of innocence or disbelief in the dishonesty of the witness.
7. Failing your drug test
You really should not be in a position to have to take a drug screen in the first place, but occasionally the issue is raised. Failing a drug screen is one of the most damaging things you can do in the eyes of some judges. The worst experience is failing a drug screen after you insist your attorney have the other party tested. If you make this request, do not be surprised if the other side asks for a drug screen as well.
6. Blame your past legal troubles on the failure of your prior attorney
Most attorneys and judges know each other outside of the courtroom. Some are friends. Although some of us may not socialize on a daily basis, there is camaraderie that develops from being in the same profession. Often attorneys get together once a month for a Bar meeting / luncheon to discuss current legal trends and topics. Therefore, judges have mutual respect for attorneys and vice versa. There is nothing to be gained by dissing your prior attorney on the stand as a way to hide your own failures and irresponsibility.
5. Slam the door on your way out of the courtroom
If the court has ruled against you in some way, you can make things even worse by storming out of the courtroom and pushing that courtroom door just a little too hard. It could lead to a free weekend getaway at your local jail.
4. Interrupting
Knock knock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interru-------MOOOOOOO! If you think that is obnoxious, so are the interrupting witnesses. The rules we learned in Kindergarten are still good rules.
3. Don’t be a smart on the witness stand
When you’re being questioned answer the questions truthfully and respectfully. There is no sense in making things worse by layering dripping sarcasm from your voice. And it’s also not the time to ask the other attorney questions if you think that he or she is a fool. Your job as a witness is to answer the questions put to you so the court can make a determination.
2. Dress like a slob
I once had a client show up to court arguing for the return of her children. During her argument she pleaded with the court and indicated that she no longer drank alcohol. She was an alcoholic and it was a big issue in her custody case. I didn’t get a chance to look at her very well prior to our hearing because she was late to court. After the hearing, we met out in the hall to discuss her options because her children were not returned. At that time I noticed the Budweiser T-shirt she was wearing showing the Spuds McKenzie dog and the phrase “born to party”. It never ceases to amaze me what people wear to court. Baggy pants, dirty shoes, flip-flops, shorts, halter tops, etc. This is a court of law and you should be showing the court respect otherwise you will not get respect in turn.
1. Being late to court
Nothing irritates a court more than litigants arriving late to court with some lame excuse such as I overslept, I forgot, I went to the wrong courtroom, etc. This is an important day and if your future depends upon your actions, you’ve got to be there on time.
A little common sense goes a long way….
3/03/2010
Do you fee safe at home?
The last time I was at the Judicial Complex, I found this business card. Here are the contents verbatim. I hope this helps someone in need.
Do you feel safe at home? Does your partner…
* Monitor your time, your phone calls, conversations or internet use?
* Criticize, belittle or humiliate you?
* Act jealous or possessive?
* Threaten to hurt you, your children, family, friends or pets?
* Blame you for how they feel or act?
* Make you feel you are incapable of making decisions?
* Yell or call you names?
* Hit, slap or push you, your children or pets?
* Throw or destroy things?
* Threaten to take everything including the children, if you leave?
DON’T KEEP THE SECRET: Talk About It!
NO ONE DESERVES TO BE HURT --- YOUR SAFETY IS IMPORTANT!
An advocate can help you with a personalized safety plan.
There’s a weekly support group that will give information and help you sort through things.
Individual crisis counseling is available to you.
All services are free through the FAMILY VIOLENCE PROGRAM.
Call our 24 hour hotline for more information and immediate assistance.
HOTLINE # for Bradley & Polk Residents: 476-3886
OFFICE PHONE # 479-9339 ext. 3525 or 3515
TTY# 423-476-3882
3/02/2010
2/26/2010
HOW TO RECOGNIZE A WOMANIZER
AN INTERESTING POST ON HOW TO RECOGNIZE A WOMANIZER
Personality Traits of Casanovas Who Are Hooked on the Hunt
The word “Casanova” evolved from an Italian womanizer who had over a hundred one night stands. Casanova was a lady killer from Venice
Casanovas are also known as womanizers, lotharios, tom cats, lady killers, seducers, predators and players. Many womanizers have a “line” for picking up women; they have a whole strategy from start to finish. After you learn how to recognize a womanizer, you'll see through his facade.
The personality traits of womanizers make them easy to recognize.
Womanizers are master manipulators. Though the words “Casanova”, “tom cat”, “womanizer”, “lothario” and “seducer” may seem flirty and flattering, the behavior of lady killers is far from innocent. The sooner you learn to recognize a womanizer, the better off you'll be.
How to Recognize a Womanizer
Womanizers are charming. They’re attentive, interested, curious – and they make women feel special. Womanizers have one goal: to get a woman into bed as quickly as possible and then move on to the next one. They’re seducers who are addicted to the "power" they feel when seducing women. This is one way to recognize a womanizer: they're addicted to the chase and challenge of love.
Womanizers are often in touch with women’s feelings, and can adeptly manipulate those feelings to their advantage. For instance, a womanizer will express empathy for a woman’s professional or personal problems, and let the woman vent her feelings. Once she feels comfortable and relaxed with the lady killer, he’ll make his move.
Womanizers are good at what they do.
How to Recognize a Womanizer: The Inner Workings of a Don Juan
Some psychologists believe womanizers or lotharios struggle with low self-esteem, and their sexual conquests make them feel better about themselves. It’s a temporary high, though. Womanizers may have unstable or nonexistent relationships with father figures – especially in early childhood – which makes them insecure about who they are. Knowing this will help you recognize a womanizer.
“Casanovas tend to exhibit some traits associated with psychopathy,” says Robert Hare, author of "Without Conscience" in Psychology Today (“The Lady Killer Files”, November December 2007). Womanizers may have to manipulate and deceive women to get what they want, and they may ignore guilty feelings – or they may not feel any guilt at all. This, too, will help you recognize a womanizer.
Womanizers tend to sleep with inappropriate partners, flirt with their friends’ wives, and have secrets about their romantic lives. Many lady killers are addicted to sleeping around with different women, but don’t find their sexual conquests fulfilling in the long term.
Recognizing a Womanizer Means Resisting a Womanizer
When you think you've met a Casanova, Don Juan or womaizer and you don't want to be another notch in his bed post, don't let yourself be manipulated into bed. A womanizer will give you the cold shoulder just as quickly as he'll wine and dine you. You need to decide what you want, and stand firm.
Womanizers probably aren't good candidates for long-term relationships. If you're looking for a healthy relationship, you need to not only recognize a womanizer -- you need to look past him.
2/21/2010
WARNING TO FACEBOOK USERS!
During halftime of a basketball game while messing around with my phone, I found the following article from a local newspaper in Kentucky and had it emailed to my office. (Yes, I know, I have a touch of ADD). Unfortunately, the email did not list the source of where I got this so I cannot give proper credit, but the information is very pertinent.
Cheaters Leaving Trails Of Lies On Facebook
It started as a way for college students to network, but over the past few years Facebook has become an Internet phenomenon.
Many people are spending large amounts of time on the social networking site. Some of the decisions some users are making online are even affecting marriages.
Lawyers say some cheating spouses are playing out their affairs on Facebook, never realizing the trail of ammunition they're leaving.
"My ex-wife was on Facebook. I knew she was on it," said one man.
What the man, who asked not to be identified, said he did not know was how his ex-wife used Facebook to fuel her extramarital affairs.
"I found it very odd that many nights her not coming to bed, instead spending hours on Facebook and because I was not very familiar with it, I didn't realize you could chat and do all these different things," he said. "She found an ex-boyfriend. She also built a relationship through Facebook."
"Facebook is tempting and too much temptation leads a lot of people astray," said family law attorney Louis P. Winner.
When Winner noticed an increasing number of clients citing Facebook-related issues as the reason for their divorce, he wrote an article in the Louisville Bar Briefs on how family law attorneys can use Facebook to dig up cyber-dirt on cheating spouses.
"On average, I'm seeing one in five people come in mentioning Facebook as -- here's a cause or here's a catalyst," Winner said.
Other divorce attorneys said they're seeing information from Facebook crop up in cases every week.
"I've been involved in depositions where my clients have been deposed and the other side comes in with some pictures of a Facebook profile that I can't imagine any rational person posting, and there it is: my client in a compromising position for the public to see," said attorney Hugh Barrow.
"As long as people are dumb enough to post their life to the whole world, it's perfectly appropriate to use those in a court proceeding," said divorce attorney Diana Skaggs.
"In every case it's something that I inquire about and look at now -- is there a Facebook page out there and how may that hurt my client? Take it down. Now. Yesterday," Skaggs said.
"You may have to think of it as anything you're going to put on Facebook -- pictures, the comments you make, the comments your friends make -- think of it as a divorce attorney may read that," said Winner.
"Basically anything that you see on the screen for the most part is saved on your computer somewhere," said computer forensics expert Andy Cobb.
Cobb said divorce attorneys and suspicious husbands or wives hire his company to pull up past posts, pictures, private chat and very personal videos the cheater may think are long gone.
"Since the computer is marital property they have equal rights to it so we can be asked by one of the spouses to go in and make a copy of the computer and then bring it back for examination," said Cobb. "A lot more evidence than people realize is there."
"A picture paints 1,000 words. Well, we had hundreds of pictures that painted thousands of words," said the man who discovered his wife's extra-marital affairs on Facebook.
"I guess the thing that surprises me is people are so blatant about it and part of me thinks they want to get caught," Cobb said.
This scorned husband said while his wife is the one who filed for divorce, she didn't realize he and his attorney would find evidence on Facebook. He said she was stunned when the evidence was presented in court.
"Every action has a reaction and everything that you put there is in black and white, everything you say there is proof," he said.
Cheaters Leaving Trails Of Lies On Facebook
It started as a way for college students to network, but over the past few years Facebook has become an Internet phenomenon.
Many people are spending large amounts of time on the social networking site. Some of the decisions some users are making online are even affecting marriages.
Lawyers say some cheating spouses are playing out their affairs on Facebook, never realizing the trail of ammunition they're leaving.
"My ex-wife was on Facebook. I knew she was on it," said one man.
What the man, who asked not to be identified, said he did not know was how his ex-wife used Facebook to fuel her extramarital affairs.
"I found it very odd that many nights her not coming to bed, instead spending hours on Facebook and because I was not very familiar with it, I didn't realize you could chat and do all these different things," he said. "She found an ex-boyfriend. She also built a relationship through Facebook."
"Facebook is tempting and too much temptation leads a lot of people astray," said family law attorney Louis P. Winner.
When Winner noticed an increasing number of clients citing Facebook-related issues as the reason for their divorce, he wrote an article in the Louisville Bar Briefs on how family law attorneys can use Facebook to dig up cyber-dirt on cheating spouses.
"On average, I'm seeing one in five people come in mentioning Facebook as -- here's a cause or here's a catalyst," Winner said.
Other divorce attorneys said they're seeing information from Facebook crop up in cases every week.
"I've been involved in depositions where my clients have been deposed and the other side comes in with some pictures of a Facebook profile that I can't imagine any rational person posting, and there it is: my client in a compromising position for the public to see," said attorney Hugh Barrow.
"As long as people are dumb enough to post their life to the whole world, it's perfectly appropriate to use those in a court proceeding," said divorce attorney Diana Skaggs.
"In every case it's something that I inquire about and look at now -- is there a Facebook page out there and how may that hurt my client? Take it down. Now. Yesterday," Skaggs said.
"You may have to think of it as anything you're going to put on Facebook -- pictures, the comments you make, the comments your friends make -- think of it as a divorce attorney may read that," said Winner.
"Basically anything that you see on the screen for the most part is saved on your computer somewhere," said computer forensics expert Andy Cobb.
Cobb said divorce attorneys and suspicious husbands or wives hire his company to pull up past posts, pictures, private chat and very personal videos the cheater may think are long gone.
"Since the computer is marital property they have equal rights to it so we can be asked by one of the spouses to go in and make a copy of the computer and then bring it back for examination," said Cobb. "A lot more evidence than people realize is there."
"A picture paints 1,000 words. Well, we had hundreds of pictures that painted thousands of words," said the man who discovered his wife's extra-marital affairs on Facebook.
"I guess the thing that surprises me is people are so blatant about it and part of me thinks they want to get caught," Cobb said.
This scorned husband said while his wife is the one who filed for divorce, she didn't realize he and his attorney would find evidence on Facebook. He said she was stunned when the evidence was presented in court.
"Every action has a reaction and everything that you put there is in black and white, everything you say there is proof," he said.
2/05/2010
The following is an excellent post from Peggy Roston’s Alaska Divorce Blog, posted July 25, 2009
The following is an excellent post from Peggy Roston’s Alaska
Tips To Help You Avoid Sky Rocketing Attorney's Fees
Divorce litigation is extremely expensive. Your attorney will charge you for the time he or she spends writing and responding to letters, emails, and motions. Some of the time your attorney has to spend on your case is unavoidable. But there are a few things that you can do to help your attorney handle your case in a cost-effective manner.
• Communicate by e-mail rather than by telephone. Telephone calls tend to be more expensive because of the pleasantries exchanged before you and your attorney get down to business.
• Keep your e-mails short and to the point. Your attorney may receive hundreds e-mails a day. If you keep your emails short and to the point, your attorney can respond quickly to the issue you have raised without having to wade through a lengthy email.
• Organize your financial documents before you give them to your attorney. Parties in a divorce case must exchange tax returns, credit card statements, brokerage statements, bank statements, and personal property lists. Respond promptly to your attorney’s request for financial information. . If you have personal or work time-constraints, I suggest you call your attorney to ask for a referral to a financial professional who can help you out. Having organized financial documents can save you hundreds or possibly thousands of dollars in attorney’s fees or paralegal fees and can keep your case moving forward.
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