3/29/2010

Interesting Post Regarding Causes of Divorce


Financial Fights That Cause Divorce


"When all is said and done, aside from child custody, the biggest issues in divorce are about money. Indeed, money is often the root cause of divorce.  If money concerns are not the reason for a divorce, they may be symptomatic of deeper marital problems.
According to the Street, the types of financial fights that lead to divorce can easily be classified.
1. Paycheck envy
According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, one in three married women out-earns her husband. That amount expands to more than half if they earn $55,000 or more. This phenomenon, it is said, may put stress on a marriage as it challenges the “traditional” male role as the “breadwinner.”
2. Debts
Couples who argue about finances on a weekly basis have a greater probability of divorcing than those who do not. Large debts may be indicative of illiquidity and the absence of an economic safety net. The absence of security provides more reason to fight.
3. Different money styles.
We have all heard about the struggles between the tight wad and the spend thrift; one spouse cannot part with a dime and ages bills to maximize the float whereas the other cannot leave a store empty handed. This difference is style may cause conflict which could jeopardize the marriage. Of course, this is an extreme example- but it illustrates the point that individual, though part of a couple, will manage money differently
4. Lifestyle Expectations
Obviously, financial constraints will define where and how the couple will live. Will they own or rent a home? Will they live in Westchester, Manhattan or Queens? Will they live in a home they easily can afford or will they stretch for something slightly above their combined means? Will they drive a new car or an older used one? If the couple is not one the same page, resentment will arise, challenging the marriage.
5. Hidden Money.
Money hidden from a spouse may be symptomatic of lack of trust or infidelity.
The theory of divorce law is that marriage is an economic partnership. It the marriage functions as a true partnership both parties are actively engaged in making marital financial decisions. Conflict can be mitigated if the parties are both aware of their financial styles and expectations and are willing to accommodate those of the other." 
Get your questions answered by Jerry Hoffer, a practicing Divorce and Family Law attorney since 1991.   
Divorce and Family Law cases are personal and emotional matters.  Do not make the mistake of giving in and giving up to your former partner simply because you do not want to make your fight public.  Not fighting for what is rightfully yours could have a negative long term effect on your life, children, and your financial well being.


If you have made the decision to divorce or need the assistance with a related family transition in Tennessee, be sure to consult an experienced Divorce and Family Law attorney.  We know what you need during your challenging transition: honest advice, clear legal information, understanding support, and a firm guiding hand.  We want you to start your new life with confidence, a fair settlement or disposition, and financial security - and we want your new life to begin as soon as possible.


For a confidential consultation concerning your 
 
Divorce or Family Law needs, call our office today.



3/19/2010

Attending two day divorce and family law seminar in Tunica.

3/08/2010

Sometimes it blows me away man's inhumanity towards their fellow man.

TOP TEN WAYS TO MAKE A JUDGE MAD (or think you are clinically insane)

            10.       Use big words when you talk when you really don’t know the meaning of the words

            If you don’t understand a word, please don’t try to impress the judge with your lack of knowledge of the English vocabulary.  Just be yourself and answer the questions to the best of your ability.  If you don’t understand a question, by all means, ask the questioner to repeat it until you understand what is being asked.  Butchering the English language does nothing for your credibility.  After all, it’s a “plea bargain” not a “flea bargain”.  You may need a “restraining order” not a “training order”.  And documents are notarized by a “notary republic” not a “notary republican”.

            9.         Leave your proof at home

            If you have documentation or witnesses that are advantageous to your argument or case, by all means make sure you bring them to court.  Nothing is more irritating for your attorney and for a judge but to hear over and over again “I can prove it! I’ve got the papers / pictures / recordings / witnesses, but I left them at home!”

            8.         Talking loudly while someone else is testifying

            Keep your mouth shut during the testimony of other witnesses.  Nothing is more distracting for your attorney and the court if you continually whisper in a loud stage whisper to your attorney that the person who is testifying is “nothing but a dang liar!”  Let your attorney concentrate on what is happening and don’t distract the judge from the testimony by your never ending incredulous protestations of innocence or disbelief in the dishonesty of the witness.

            7.         Failing your drug test

            You really should not be in a position to have to take a drug screen in the first place, but occasionally the issue is raised.  Failing a drug screen is one of the most damaging things you can do in the eyes of some judges.  The worst experience is failing a drug screen after you insist your attorney have the other party tested.  If you make this request, do not be surprised if the other side asks for a drug screen as well.

            6.         Blame your past legal troubles on the failure of your prior attorney

            Most attorneys and judges know each other outside of the courtroom.  Some are friends.  Although some of us may not socialize on a daily basis, there is camaraderie that develops from being in the same profession.  Often attorneys get together once a month for a Bar meeting / luncheon to discuss current legal trends and topics.  Therefore, judges have mutual respect for attorneys and vice versa.  There is nothing to be gained by dissing your prior attorney on the stand as a way to hide your own failures and irresponsibility.

            5.         Slam the door on your way out of the courtroom

            If the court has ruled against you in some way, you can make things even worse by storming out of the courtroom and pushing that courtroom door just a little too hard.  It could lead to a free weekend getaway at your local jail.

            4.         Interrupting

            Knock knock.  Whose there?  Interrupting cow.  Interru-------MOOOOOOO!  If you think that is obnoxious, so are the interrupting witnesses.  The rules we learned in Kindergarten are still good rules.

            3.         Don’t be a smart on the witness stand

When you’re being questioned answer the questions truthfully and respectfully.  There is no sense in making things worse by layering dripping sarcasm from your voice.  And it’s also not the time to ask the other attorney questions if you think that he or she is a fool.  Your job as a witness is to answer the questions put to you so the court can make a determination.

            2.         Dress like a slob

I once had a client show up to court arguing for the return of her children.  During her argument she pleaded with the court and indicated that she no longer drank alcohol.  She was an alcoholic and it was a big issue in her custody case.  I didn’t get a chance to look at her very well prior to our hearing because she was late to court.  After the hearing, we met out in the hall to discuss her options because her children were not returned.  At that time I noticed the Budweiser T-shirt she was wearing showing the Spuds McKenzie dog and the phrase “born to party”.  It never ceases to amaze me what people wear to court.  Baggy pants, dirty shoes, flip-flops, shorts, halter tops, etc.  This is a court of law and you should be showing the court respect otherwise you will not get respect in turn.

1.            Being late to court

Nothing irritates a court more than litigants arriving late to court with some lame excuse such as I overslept, I forgot, I went to the wrong courtroom, etc.  This is an important day and if your future depends upon your actions, you’ve got to be there on time.

A little common sense goes a long way….

3/03/2010

Do you fee safe at home?

The last time I was at the Judicial Complex, I found this business card.  Here are the contents verbatim.  I hope this helps someone in need.


Do you feel safe at home?  Does your partner…

*           Monitor your time, your phone calls, conversations or internet use?

*           Criticize, belittle or humiliate you?

*           Act jealous or possessive?

*           Threaten to hurt you, your children, family, friends or pets?

*           Blame you for how they feel or act?

*           Make you feel you are incapable of making decisions?

*           Yell or call you names?

*           Hit, slap or push you, your children or pets?

*           Throw or destroy things?

*           Threaten to take everything including the children, if you leave?


DON’T KEEP THE SECRET:  Talk About It!

NO ONE DESERVES TO BE HURT --- YOUR SAFETY IS IMPORTANT!

An advocate can help you with a personalized safety plan.

There’s a weekly support group that will give information and help you sort through things.

Individual crisis counseling is available to you.

All services are free through the FAMILY VIOLENCE PROGRAM.

Call our 24 hour hotline for more information and immediate assistance.

HOTLINE # for Bradley & Polk Residents: 476-3886
OFFICE PHONE # 479-9339 ext. 3525 or 3515
TTY# 423-476-3882

3/02/2010

Wow look at the snow!!