HOW TO RECOGNIZE A WOMANIZER

AN INTERESTING POST ON HOW TO RECOGNIZE A WOMANIZER

By Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

Personality Traits of Casanovas Who Are Hooked on the Hunt

The word “Casanova” evolved from an Italian womanizer who had over a hundred one night stands. Casanova was a lady killer from Venice; he would wine and dine women, charm them, make them feel beautiful and irresistible, take them to bed, and … move on to the next woman the next day.

Casanovas are also known as womanizers, lotharios, tom cats, lady killers, seducers, predators and players. Many womanizers have a “line” for picking up women; they have a whole strategy from start to finish. After you learn how to recognize a womanizer, you'll see through his facade.

The personality traits of womanizers make them easy to recognize.

Womanizers are master manipulators. Though the words “Casanova”, “tom cat”, “womanizer”, “lothario” and “seducer” may seem flirty and flattering, the behavior of lady killers is far from innocent. The sooner you learn to recognize a womanizer, the better off you'll be.

How to Recognize a Womanizer

Womanizers are charming. They’re attentive, interested, curious – and they make women feel special. Womanizers have one goal: to get a woman into bed as quickly as possible and then move on to the next one. They’re seducers who are addicted to the "power" they feel when seducing women. This is one way to recognize a womanizer: they're addicted to the chase and challenge of love.

Womanizers are often in touch with women’s feelings, and can adeptly manipulate those feelings to their advantage. For instance, a womanizer will express empathy for a woman’s professional or personal problems, and let the woman vent her feelings. Once she feels comfortable and relaxed with the lady killer, he’ll make his move.

Womanizers are good at what they do.

How to Recognize a Womanizer: The Inner Workings of a Don Juan

Some psychologists believe womanizers or lotharios struggle with low self-esteem, and their sexual conquests make them feel better about themselves. It’s a temporary high, though. Womanizers may have unstable or nonexistent relationships with father figures – especially in early childhood – which makes them insecure about who they are. Knowing this will help you recognize a womanizer.

“Casanovas tend to exhibit some traits associated with psychopathy,” says Robert Hare, author of "Without Conscience" in Psychology Today (“The Lady Killer Files”, November December 2007). Womanizers may have to manipulate and deceive women to get what they want, and they may ignore guilty feelings – or they may not feel any guilt at all. This, too, will help you recognize a womanizer.

Womanizers tend to sleep with inappropriate partners, flirt with their friends’ wives, and have secrets about their romantic lives. Many lady killers are addicted to sleeping around with different women, but don’t find their sexual conquests fulfilling in the long term.

Recognizing a Womanizer Means Resisting a Womanizer

When you think you've met a Casanova, Don Juan or womaizer and you don't want to be another notch in his bed post, don't let yourself be manipulated into bed. A womanizer will give you the cold shoulder just as quickly as he'll wine and dine you. You need to decide what you want, and stand firm.

Womanizers probably aren't good candidates for long-term relationships. If you're looking for a healthy relationship, you need to not only recognize a womanizer -- you need to look past him.

WARNING TO FACEBOOK USERS!

During halftime of a basketball game while messing around with my phone, I found the following article from a local newspaper in Kentucky and had it emailed to my office.  (Yes, I know, I have a touch of ADD).  Unfortunately, the email did not list the source of where I got this so I cannot give proper credit, but the information is very pertinent.

Cheaters Leaving Trails Of Lies On Facebook

It started as a way for college students to network, but over the past few years Facebook has become an Internet phenomenon.

Many people are spending large amounts of time on the social networking site. Some of the decisions some users are making online are even affecting marriages.

Lawyers say some cheating spouses are playing out their affairs on Facebook, never realizing the trail of ammunition they're leaving.

"My ex-wife was on Facebook. I knew she was on it," said one man.

What the man, who asked not to be identified, said he did not know was how his ex-wife used Facebook to fuel her extramarital affairs.

"I found it very odd that many nights her not coming to bed, instead spending hours on Facebook and because I was not very familiar with it, I didn't realize you could chat and do all these different things," he said. "She found an ex-boyfriend. She also built a relationship through Facebook."

"Facebook is tempting and too much temptation leads a lot of people astray," said family law attorney Louis P. Winner.

When Winner noticed an increasing number of clients citing Facebook-related issues as the reason for their divorce, he wrote an article in the Louisville Bar Briefs on how family law attorneys can use Facebook to dig up cyber-dirt on cheating spouses.

"On average, I'm seeing one in five people come in mentioning Facebook as -- here's a cause or here's a catalyst," Winner said.

Other divorce attorneys said they're seeing information from Facebook crop up in cases every week.

"I've been involved in depositions where my clients have been deposed and the other side comes in with some pictures of a Facebook profile that I can't imagine any rational person posting, and there it is: my client in a compromising position for the public to see," said attorney Hugh Barrow.

"As long as people are dumb enough to post their life to the whole world, it's perfectly appropriate to use those in a court proceeding," said divorce attorney Diana Skaggs.

"In every case it's something that I inquire about and look at now -- is there a Facebook page out there and how may that hurt my client? Take it down. Now. Yesterday," Skaggs said.

"You may have to think of it as anything you're going to put on Facebook -- pictures, the comments you make, the comments your friends make -- think of it as a divorce attorney may read that," said Winner.

"Basically anything that you see on the screen for the most part is saved on your computer somewhere," said computer forensics expert Andy Cobb.

Cobb said divorce attorneys and suspicious husbands or wives hire his company to pull up past posts, pictures, private chat and very personal videos the cheater may think are long gone.

"Since the computer is marital property they have equal rights to it so we can be asked by one of the spouses to go in and make a copy of the computer and then bring it back for examination," said Cobb. "A lot more evidence than people realize is there."

"A picture paints 1,000 words. Well, we had hundreds of pictures that painted thousands of words," said the man who discovered his wife's extra-marital affairs on Facebook.

"I guess the thing that surprises me is people are so blatant about it and part of me thinks they want to get caught," Cobb said.

This scorned husband said while his wife is the one who filed for divorce, she didn't realize he and his attorney would find evidence on Facebook. He said she was stunned when the evidence was presented in court.

"Every action has a reaction and everything that you put there is in black and white, everything you say there is proof," he said.

The following is an excellent post from Peggy Roston’s Alaska Divorce Blog, posted July 25, 2009

The following is an excellent post from Peggy Roston’s Alaska Divorce Blog, posted July 25, 2009

 

Tips To Help You Avoid Sky Rocketing Attorney's Fees

Divorce litigation is extremely expensive. Your attorney will charge you for the time he or she spends writing and responding to letters, emails, and motions. Some of the time your attorney has to spend on your case is unavoidable. But there are a few things that you can do to help your attorney handle your case in a cost-effective manner.

• Communicate by e-mail rather than by telephone. Telephone calls tend to be more expensive because of the pleasantries exchanged before you and your attorney get down to business.

• Keep your e-mails short and to the point. Your attorney may receive hundreds e-mails a day. If you keep your emails short and to the point, your attorney can respond quickly to the issue you have raised without having to wade through a lengthy email.

• Organize your financial documents before you give them to your attorney. Parties in a divorce case must exchange tax returns, credit card statements, brokerage statements, bank statements, and personal property lists. Respond promptly to your attorney’s request for financial information. . If you have personal or work time-constraints, I suggest you call your attorney to ask for a referral to a financial professional who can help you out. Having organized financial documents can save you hundreds or possibly thousands of dollars in attorney’s fees or paralegal fees and can keep your case moving forward.

A good week

What a busy week!  On Thursday, I finished up a four year old case with an all day trial.  The trial was actually day two of a two day hearing.  The first day of the trial was in May of 2008.  

Tomorrow morning a rarity:  a Saturday morning deposition.

On a personal note, daughter Stefanie came home for the weekend and regaled the family with her stories of scuba diving in Bonaire.  She and the wife travel to Atlanta tomorrow for a baby shower.  Come Sunday, Stef has to head back to Wofford for her Spring semester.

I appreciate all of the folks who have referred clients this week.  Our calendar is extremely full right now.  After some rest and relaxation on Sunday, I will be back in the office ready to go.

Have a great weekend.